Emphasize Values over Rules

“You need to have some boundaries for kids. They can’t be allowed to do whatever they want, but in these families that mention creativity, the emphasis was not on, “This is what you do because I say so,” it was, “These are principles that we believe in and here’s why we think they’re important. What do you think? Let’s have a discussion about that.” There was reflective dialogue going on. Because of that, kids took ownership of the values and essentially made some of the very rules that the less creative parents were busy trying to enforce. Instead of enforcing them, these few parents got their creative children to endorse the rules themselves because they helped to generate them.”
– Adam Grant

The above excerpt is from an article by Eric Baker titled How To Be A Better Parent: 4 Secrets Backed By Research. I assume this probably also applies to the work place?

3 Comments leave a comment below

  1. “…kids took ownership of the values…” Great quote, Tina! I just listened to a great podcast with Adam Grant over at On Being, it’s really nice. http://www.onbeing.org/program/adam-grant-successful-givers-toxic-takers-and-the-life-we-spend-at-work/8058. Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Seems like these tips indicate that parents should aim for practices that make their children internalize the family values. One has to wonder though how “scientific” the conclusions are. Creative children could just come from creative parents, and creative parents happen to not be fans of rules.