Grounding Advice

“Pay attention to when the cart is getting before the horse. Notice when a painful initiation leads to irrational devotion, or when unsatisfying jobs start to seem worthwhile. Remind yourself pledges and promises have power, as do uniforms and parades. Remember in the absence of extrinsic rewards you will seek out or create intrinsic ones. Take into account [that] the higher the price you pay for your decisions the more you value them. See that ambivalence becomes certainty with time. Realize that lukewarm feelings become stronger once you commit to a group, club, or product. Be wary of the roles you play and the acts you put on, because you tend to fulfill the labels you accept. Above all, remember the more harm you cause, the more hate you feel. The more kindness you express, the more you come to love those you help.”
– McRaney

The Benjamin Franklin Effect: The Surprising Psychology of How to Handle Haters

2 Comments leave a comment below

  1. and yet we even justify the relationship that hurt us – doctors, family, lovers, hopefuls, and even those we have paid for [ goods and services}.
    Are, are we too nice or trapped in the mediocrity of a victim, but also a victim of ”me”.

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