Yes, Please!

This Question:

I found so many gems in the answers to this Tweet.

Brené Brown — Strong Back, Soft Front, Wild Heart

Brené Brown says our belonging to each other can’t be lost, but it can be forgotten. Her research has reminded the world in recent years of the uncomfortable, life-giving link between vulnerability and courage. Now she’s turning her attention to how we walked into the crisis of our life together and how we can move beyond it: with strong backs, soft fronts, and wild hearts.

Real Religion

“Real religion is the transformation of anxiety into laughter.”
Alan Watts

Two-Mountain People

“The basement of your soul is much deeper than you knew. Some people look into the hidden depths of themselves and they realize that success won’t fill those spaces. Only a spiritual life and unconditional love from family and friends will do. They realize how lucky they are. They are down in the valley, but their health is O.K.; they’re not financially destroyed; they’re about to be dragged on an adventure that will leave them transformed.”
— David Brooks

Thank you Jocelyn for reminding me of one of my favorite reads of 2019: Two-Mountain People

We Have To Stand Up To Evil

“If our leaders are evil, what does one do? . . . If God gives us free will, we are responsible for what we do or what we fail to do . . . . I can’t do what I believe is wrong. We have to stand up to evil.”

Timely quote from the stunning movie A Hidden Life by Terrence Malick

Are You Satisfiable?

On my walk home from work yesterday, I listened to the most recent Hurry Slowly episode. It completely stopped me in my tracks, to the point where I would catch myself standing on a street corner, completely immersed. The minute I came home, I sat down on my couch and started the episode right over again, taking in all of Adrienne Maree Brown’s thoughtfulness and questions. Are you satisfiable? What does it mean to be satisfiable? How do you recognize when you have “enough”? Questions central not just to our own well-being but to attaining a more just and equitable society. Have a listen, it’s nourishing and thought-provoking.

The Ultimate Touchstone of Friendship

”But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the self nor of the other, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”
— David Whyte

How to Build a Sobriety Toolbox

This post by Holly Whitaker is full of useful tips on how to build a sobriety toolbox.

I have been on a journey of cutting down on alcohol for a good year now and Kava tea has really helped me substitute that glass of wine at night.

I also started tracking days where I didn’t drink any alcohol at all to have a visual reminder of how I am shifting my habits. I use an app called DONE for that. Besides ‘not drinking’ I track when I meditate, do something physical, dance, didn’t eat sugar.

My goal is not to cut drinking alcohol all together but to be more aware why I am drinking. When I am with friends and I am having a good time, I totally want to enjoy a glass of wine. When I am home alone and want to “numb” with alcohol, I now stop myself. I replace that glass of wine with tea, meditation, a bath, etc. Small steps.

First Things First

One of the only Podcast Interviews I did this year just went live. Thank you for having me, Paddy Harrington. You got me to dig deep.

Question for My Readers

Receiving

“It’s so very hard, receiving. When you give something, you’re in much greater control. But when you receive something, you’re so vulnerable.”

The Mister Rogers No One Saw, By Jeanne Marie Laskas

Hurt Travels Through Time

By one of my favorite poets in Instagram: Yung Pueblo.

The Good Wolf

A member of the community goes to an elder: “I am trying to find my way, but I am struggling with the path and within myself.” The elder explains, “Inside each of us, there are two wolves which fight all the time. One of them is the good wolf which represents love, peace, hope, kindness, bravery and compassion. The other is the bad wolf, which represents greed, anger, arrogance, resentment and fear. And these two wolves fight all the time.” The member of the community reflects and asks, “If these two fight all the time, then which one wins?” The elder shares, “whichever one you feed.”

Cherokee First Nation Origin

I am “A Too Much” Woman

“There she is. . . the “too much” woman. The one who loves too hard, feels too deeply, asks too often, desires too much.

There she is taking up too much space, with her laughter, her curves, her honesty, her sexuality. Her presence is as tall as a tree, as wide as a mountain. Her energy occupies every crevice of the room. Too much space she takes.

There she is causing a ruckus with her persistent wanting, too much wanting. She desires a lot, wants everything—too much happiness, too much alone time, too much pleasure. She’ll go through brimstone, murky river, and hellfire to get it. She’ll risk all to quell the longings of her heart and body. This makes her dangerous.

She is dangerous.

And there she goes, that “too much” woman, making people think too much, feel too much, swoon too much. She with her authentic prose and a self-assuredness in the way she carries herself. She with her belly laughs and her insatiable appetite and her proneness to fiery passion. All eyes on her, thinking she’s hot shit.

Oh, that “too much” woman. . . too loud, too vibrant, too honest, too emotional, too smart, too intense, too pretty, too difficult, too sensitive, too wild, too intimidating, too successful, too fat, too strong, too political, too joyous, too needy—too much.

She should simmer down a bit, be taken down a couple notches. Someone should put her back in a more respectable place. Someone should tell her.

Here I am. . . a Too Much Woman, with my too-tender heart and my too-much emotions.
A hedonist, feminist, pleasure seeker, empath. I want a lot—justice, sincerity, spaciousness, ease, intimacy, actualization, respect, to be seen, to be understood, your undivided attention, and all of your promises to be kept.

I’ve been called high maintenance because I want what I want, and intimidating because of the space I occupy. I’ve been called selfish because I am self-loving. I’ve been called a witch because I know how to heal myself.

And still. . . I rise.”

— Ev’Yan Whitney

Design Matters: Malcolm Gladwell

In this Design Matters episode Malcolm Gladwell discusses his new book, “Talking to Strangers”—and how we default to truth … but not necessarily the whole truth.

No one does interviews better than Debbie Millman. No one.

The Cost of Being Wrong

“The cost of being wrong is less than the cost of doing nothing.”
— Seth Godin

Virtual Choir

Composer Eric Whitacre started the Virtual Choir; an experiment that connects singers from every corner of the globe. What a moving experiment. Love everything about this.

A Definition of Love by Esther Perel

“It’s a verb. It’s an active engagement with all kinds of feelings—positive ones and primitive ones and loathsome ones. But it’s a very active verb. And it’s often surprising how it can kind of ebb and flow. It’s like the moon. We think it’s disappeared, and suddenly it shows up again. It’s not a permanent state of enthusiasm.”

Full article: Love is not a permanent state of enthusiasm

Forgive, Forgive, Forgive

“In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The richest relationships are lifeboats, but they are also submarines that descend to the darkest and most disquieting places, to the unfathomed trenches of the soul where our deepest shames and foibles and vulnerabilities live, where we are less than we would like to be. Forgiveness is the alchemy by which the shame transforms into the honor and privilege of being invited into another’s darkness and having them witness your own with the undimmed light of love, of sympathy, of nonjudgmental understanding. Forgiveness is the engine of buoyancy that keeps the submarine rising again and again toward the light, so that it may become a lifeboat once more.”

13 Life-Learnings from 13 Years of Brain Pickings. Happy blog-birthday Maria!

Attention

“The moment one gives close attention to any thing, even a blade of grass it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”
— Henry Miller

Evidence of What You Are

“What you are living is the evidence of what you are thinking and feeling every single time.”
— Abraham Hicks

Teach Them All The Things

“Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.”
— Bruce Lee

How Do We Encourage Reflection?